Time's Awful Trick

Hello everyone! I have not posted in so long, and I apologize for that. Here's a composition I just wrote about the irony of the passage of time. It's in free-verse form, so it looks like prose at first glance, but it is poetry-I promise.

Slow decaying hours of tension trickle like a single sand grain falling from an hourglass. Patience itself cannot prevail against an inevitable pending doom, looming in the near yet never approaching future. Time sticks you between the aggravating state of not knowing and the horrible event of realization, and abandons you there until your thoughts fester inside your head and drive you near to madness. Your body grows accustomed to the dragging days, leaving you almost lifeless, so that when doomsday finally arrives, despite your waiting, you're not prepared. It comes as a surprise, a shock.
Suddenly life is a whir. You now beg time to stop, but for some ironic cause it's tired of its lazy meandering and longs to run- to sprint. You're choking in the dust, exasperated in wonderment about how you'll ever keep up. Dry and uncomfortable quiet has become momentous chaos. In a flash, years have passed since that fateful day, and once in a while you look back, and still you're not used to how your life has changed. You never will be, because Time plays an awful trick.

Old peom made new

I was at EFY this past week (read my "I Believe" blog for more info on that) and this poem I wrote years ago often entered my mind. It's also posted in my Metaphor section of poetry, but I wanted to post it again because I have found new meaning in its words.

Tears

I stood in line,

Watched every victim,

Of some sort of trial,

Shed their tears.

One tear for every hardship,

One for every hurt,

For every sin.

And He stood by,

Watching,

Weeping,

Hurting,

Because He loves us.

The tears fall one by one,

Into the cup.

The bottomless cup,

That would overflow.

It came my turn.

The tears fell,

Hundreds of them.

For every sin,

Every trial,

Every hurt.

I bitterly wept,

And He watched,

Knowing,

Understanding,

Hurting,

For me.

I was the last to weep,

And as I shed my final tear,

I looked up,

And He drank of that bitter cup,

As His own tears,

Ran down from his face.

He drank our tears,

My tears.

And he cried them all,

Twofold,

For us. For me.

And I felt my heart lighten,

Brighten,

Because He understood,

And I stood,

Watching,

Knowing,

No longer hurting,

And grateful,

Because He loves me.

The Three Deadliest Dance Crimes

It's Finally here!!!! My creative essay --hope you enjoy! :)

The three deadliest dance crimes

Crime number one: Awkward silence

Standing alone on the dance floor, she looks around for available boys. One catches her eye, and looks shyly away. She turns away disappointed, only to feel a couple seconds later, someone tap her shoulder.

“Wammafa dofanca?” he mumbles.

“Um… sorry, what?”

“Do you wanna dance?”

Although it was barely audible, she understands. “Sure!”

The moment he puts his hand on her waist, she knows this will be an awkward dance. He’s not even touching her.

His eyes wander everywhere but into her own.

Silence.

Silence.

He clears his throat.

More silence.

“Umm,” she begins, “What do you like to do?”

“I like basketball.”

“Oh cool. Basketball’s cool.”

“Yea.”

Silence.

“Sooo… what’s your favorite color?” She attempts conversation once again.

“Blue.”

“Yea? I like blue too. And purple.”

Silence.

Silence.

And the song finally ends.

“Well, thanks for dancing with me!” she smiles warmly hoping for at least an enjoyable ending.

Boy smiles awkwardly for just a moment, “Yea. Um, yea, thanks.”

Crime number two: Touchy-feely creeeeperss

“Do you want to dance?” he asks, grinning obnoxiously.

“Yea!”

He puts his hand almost all the way around her hips and forces her in, a little too close for comfort.

Bracing her hand firmly against his shoulder to prevent an even smaller gap between them, she says with even more firmness, “So. What do you like. To do.”

“I like graffiti. And setting things on fire, then watching them burn. And stabbing wood with knives.”

“Oh… well, that’s interesting.”

Sexily… “Is it okay if I spin you?”

“Uh… yea. You don’t have to ask that…”

Spins her a couple times, and upon returning to the normal position pulls her in even closer than before.

“Do you want to feel my muscles?”

Having absolutely nothing to say to that, she ignores the question. “So… what else do you like to do?”

“I like watching beautiful women. Like you.”

“I just remembered… I have to… call my dad…. In the bathroom.” She promptly leaves.

Crime number three: Self centered talk-a lots

She wanders around the dance floor –its lady’s choice.

“Hey,” she says upon finding a guy who looks nice enough, “Would you like to dance?”

“Yep,” he answers with confidence. She wonders if she hit the jackpot.

“What’s your name?” he asks.

She answers.

“What do you like to do?”

He actually asks questions! She thinks it can’t get any better.

She answers. Then questions:

“What about you?”

Big mistake.

“Oh! I like blah and blah and I’m so good at blah and I won state in blah and I love blah and blah and blah and I hope I win blah. Oh and that reminds me about this one time when blah and blah and blah. AHHAHAAHAA!! And then he blah and blah. Haha, it was so great! Oh yea, and this one time I blah, and blah and blah.”

As he takes a breath, she politely (as she can) acknowledges his story:

“Um, wow. Yea tha –“

“Yea I know right? And blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. HAHAHAHAHAHA! It was so funny! And so blah blah blah… oh the song’s over, well thanks for dancing with me, it was great, see ya.”

“—t’s cool.”

I Am

A little poetry warm-up we did in Tower's class. It was kind of a lame outline style we had to follow, but soul searching too. So I decided to post it :)
P.S. My essay is coming soon!!! Sorry, life got busy, haha

I Am
I am a believer
I wonder what comes next
I hear laughter
I see contentment
I want joy
I am a believer

I pretend I can dance
I feel invincible
I touch my dreams
I worry about making my parents proud
I cry for no reason at all
I am a believer

I understand who I want to be
I say I am beautiful
I dream I actually am
I try to see the world through God's eyes
I hope for truth
I am a believer

I need a challenge

I was pondering the other day... in the shower (surprisingly thats where a lot of my inspiration happens. You know, it's quiet, you have time to think...) and I recalled an essay I read recently about writing: an author, at least a beginner, should never write about themselves. Because first they need to learn to observe other people, and really get into their minds and understand them, and write about them; before they can really write about themselves. It's not that I write all that much about myself... usually I write about nature, religion, or feelings. But if I ever do write about people, it's usually about situations I've been in, or about me in general. I have written a couple about other people, but honestly not much. And I don't think I've posted any of them. So I've decided I need a challenge. First, to write more about people in general- more deliberate writing, instead of just like a journal whenever I feel inspired. And second, to write about other people. To really analyize what other's are thinking and feeling. Or the analyize my obeservations. After this dawned on me I began to brainstrom topics to write about. I finally chose a topic I think I will start with: dances. More specifically: boys at dances. I chose this because when you're dancing with someone you can observe them all you want without it being weird, because you're supposed to be looking at them. And also because I lot of what I've observed is really interesting, funny, awkward, etc. Basically, it's a good topic to write about. However I don't think it could really inspire poetry. So this will be more of a creative essay. Hope you don't mind, but I'm starting to branch out from poetry a little this year (ever since I decided I wanted a PHD in English). So here are my two ideas: One, I could write about one boy, in his piont of view, and all the different girls he dances with. Or two, I could write about one girl and all the different boys she dances with. It'd be great if anyone wants to comment with opinions :) But honestly I don't know if anyone will actually read this in the near future... so I won't expect a swarm of comments... Anyway, if you actually read this far: thanks for reading!! :) And hopefully I'll have my creative essay posted soon!

update

So I finally posted a new poem! Or. . . an old one, haha. But new to the blog. Because I won't be posting as many poems at once as I did when I first made the blog, I won't be sorting them into the categories I first made. I'll just post them :)

Simple Beauty

April 8, 2010- The sun shines, / And the grass is warm / On the ground beneath me, / I hear the soft buzzing / Of droning bees / Dancing in flowers around me. / Yellow rays warm my skin / And my sleepy eyes close, / I let my body sink into the earth / And become one with nature. / I breath in the scent / Of blooming Jasmine, / And feel the sweet air fill my chest. / And as I hear birds gently cry, / I exhale every worry and care / And enjoy simple beauty.

New style

Hey everyone! So I changed the style of my blog. Added some more color, changled fonts, customized things... So let me know if there's things you have a hard time reading or if you have any suggestions :)

been awhile

So I now have TWO followers instead of just one. Yayyy! haha, sooo it's been awhile since I posted anything (last time was... when i made the blog- oops), but because of the increased interest (hahaha) I'll post some of my recent poems soon. And maybe I'll actually start telling ppl I have a blog. :)